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Imagine standing in a busy airport, holding your two month-old son and dreading the moment your husband will disappear into the terminal crowd.  It will be seven long months before you will see him again.  Even though this marks the third time you have watched him leave, it still doesn’t get any easier as you realize you will be raising your newborn son alone for most of his first year.  In October 2009, Tracey Colclough, the devoted wife of Rich Colclough, faced this difficult task.  Rich was a Chief Petty Officer in the Navy and this deployment would take him back to Iraq for the third time in six years.  Communication via phone would be limited and reliable mail service existed as a slim chance.  The long months ahead would be made easier only by the conversations Tracey could count on through Facebook.

People use Facebook for many reasons.  High school and college students use it to stay connected with friends; parents might create a Facebook page to watch what their children are doing online, or to fulfill their need to stay up-to-date with technology. Then there are those like Tracey, who use it to stay close to their loved ones while they are thousands of miles from home.  Facebook has changed the way we communicate with one another.  The days of snail mail and phone calls are coming to a close.  With the birth of Facebook in 2006, people finally had a new avenue for staying in close contact with friends and family.  It became easier to become a part of someone’s world without leaving your home.  Anyone with access to the internet or an email address could become a member of Facebook and within seconds have firsthand accounts of what their friends are doing.  Social media has taken control of our lives and we use websites such as Twitter and Facebook as our primary sources of entertainment, information, and communication. 

On Facebook, when something happens that affects the entire community, status updates run rampant, giving users new knowledge.  On Twitter, important news stories are reported as “trending”, meaning a high number of users are posting information about. “5 Ways Social Media is Changing Our Daily Lives,” written by Soren Gordhamer is a report focusing on how much the internet and social media have become a part of our daily routine. It appears that we avid Facebook lovers can no longer live without them.  According to Gordhamer, “News is more social than ever.”  Facebook is updated every second and there is a constant stream of new information gracing the computer screen.  Because of immediate interaction between users, some of the features that Facebook offers (such as chat and photo sharing) have become essential to those who have been separated for some time.

While college students use social media to make new friends and share their lives with others, the friends and family of our armed forces use them as a way to cope with the sting of being so far from each other. When Rich was first deployed in 2004, the happy couple had been married for just over three years.  They dreaded the limited communication that was to come.  Tracey would be alone at home, and Facebook was still in its formative stages at Harvard University; it was not made available to the public until 2006.

During each deployment, Rich shared group phones with 50-100 men and women, all of whom needed time to talk.  The limited availability of phones made it difficult to call home and talk to Tracey.  Email was not as personal because there was no immediate response like there is with the Facebook chat sessions.  The invention of Facebook not only changed the lives of young people following their friends, it changed the way people could communicate while on different continents.

Sharing pictures is one of the most commonly used applications on Facebook People give friends images of activities and pictures of who they have been hanging out with.  Users who haven’t seen each other in years can still follow their friends’ lives by scrolling through recent photo albums. This feature of Facebook was especially useful to Tracey and Rich while going through his most recent deployment.  In 2010, after the birth of their first child, Rich was scheduled to return to Iraq for another six to seven months.  This time would be especially difficult because he knew he would be missing the majority of his son’s first year, thus making Facebook a vital communication form.  Fortunately, Tracey was able to post pictures and keep him included in everyday activities, “When he (Rich) was deployed, he logged on daily to see pictures of our son, Shamus.  It helped him feel like he was a part of our daily life plus he could see what we were up to”, says Tracey. When Shamus experienced his first snow, Tracey documented everything with her camera.  The first picture in the album, “Shamus’s Snowman,” showed all the layers of clothing she planned on dressing her baby in before facing the cold.  The pictures that followed gave a play by play of exactly what happened as they ventured from their cozy home into their yard, blanketed in a fresh, fluffy snow.  The final picture shows the two of them sitting in the snow next to a tiny snowman; Shamus’s rosy cheeks and toothless grin prove that the play date in the snow was a success.  Dawn Fernandez, a friend of Tracey’s, commented on her picture and said “I love how you showed the pictures from the beginning of getting dressed until the final product.”  Tracey’s reply was heartwarming, “I did that for Rich. So he can feel like he's a part of the day.”

In 2008, Facebook Chat was introduced.  This application made it possible to chat with friends who were currently online and in seconds receive a response.  While browsing your Facebook wall, you hear the familiar “ding” of the Facebook Messenger, quickly glance towards the bottom of your screen and wonder who’s ‘chatting’ with you.  Now imagine yourself in Rich’s position, sitting in a busy computer lounge in the middle of your base camp in Iraq.  That familiar “ding” is the most exciting thing he will hear all day.  This feature of Facebook became very important to Tracey and Rich as they tried to stay in communication, because access to a computer is much more reliable than a phone, “many times Rich could not get a phone because the battery was dead or someone else was on it. Chatting on Facebook was the next best thing because it was like having a conversation on the phone.”  They discussed different times during the day when they would both be able to log on and chat, making it seem more like face-to-face conversation than emails would ever be able to accomplish. 

Nicole Phillips, another wife of a Navy EOD sailor, said that Facebook chat was an easier, quicker way to talk.  Her husband, Zach, is currently stationed in Afghanistan, serving his second deployment;  he has been gone for two months and is not expected to return until the fall.  She said, “Facebook doesn’t make his deployment any easier but it is an added bonus.”  Although there is no substitute for real life conversations, especially when the person you want to talk to is so far from home and most likely in harm’s way, Facebook Chat does seem to add a bit of intimacy to conversations between loved ones.

While Tracey thought of her husband daily while he was overseas, friends and other close relatives may forget about his deployment every once in awhile.  When Tracey posted on Facebook it made it easier for others to remember that he was still deployed.  While most of Tracey and Rich’s conversations took place in private Inbox messages and chat sessions, both occasionally posted on each other’s wall to help remind friends and family that he was still gone.  Then, friends could comment and lend their support.  Tracey says, “I think it does help when others comment on your messages.  It's easier for friends and family not to forget about someone who’s deployed, but to push it to the back of their minds.” It is the public nature of Facebook and how it visually appeals to friends that helps Tracey, “when they see the messages I think it brings it back to their memory and they remember to show their support.”  This kind of support is very uplifting to those who have been away from their normal lives for so long.  Nicole Phillips added that, “it was wonderful to see all of their support.” Even short, sweet messages to each other meant something. 

In March 2010, six months into his tour, Rich left a short message on Tracey’s wall, “I love you! And miss you both every day…thanks for all the cute pictures of little Shamus.” “Messages like that made my day” said Tracey.  “It let me know he was thinking of me and all the pictures and wall posts I left for him were making him feel missed.”  While scrolling through Facebook, it’s impossible to read a wall post from a husband overseas to his wife and not feel the emotional pull to lend your thoughts and prayers.  This feature of Facebook also makes it easy for friends that might not have written a lengthy email to show their appreciation through shorter, less emotional wall posts.  Rich is also able to stay close to his fellow service men through Facebook groups.  There are groups made specifically for military families, and many men and women create groups upon arriving home where people they served with can remain in close communication. 

Next time you log onto Facebook to check up on your friends, remember you are participating in a social movement connecting people all over the world.  While Tracey’s husband is home for the time being, there is always going to be another deployment lurking around the corner.  Facebook will continue to serve as Nicole’s primary method of communication with Zach while she anxiously awaits his safe return. The role that this social media plays in the lives of those soldiers away from home is more than can ever be expressed in a wall post or inbox message.