Hog Heaven

It was summer, 1967. The Texas lakes were full of skiers, fisherman, and bathing beauties looking to fill the scorching days of the season with unforgettable memories. For one simple, country family this summer would be just that, undeniably unforgettable. 

Summer of ’67 turned the Blackwood family upside down. Roger Blackwood, the youngest of the Blackwood family, age fifteen, was killed in a tragic boating accident on Lake Texoma (located North of Dallas on the Texas/Oklahoma border). “It was a summer day just like any other,” older brother Richard said. “My friends and I were eager to take the boat (a 1960 Reinell with an outboard motor) for a spin on the lake and of course my baby brother wanted to tag along.” Marjorie, the matriarch of the Blackwood clan, knew that Richard was not interested in entertaining his little brother, but insisted that he allow Roger to join the group. Richard finally relented and along with Richard’s friends, they hurried off to the lake. The sun was shining and there was not a cloud in sight, the water deep blue and inviting. After hours out on the lake it was getting close to dusk. “The rest is really a blur” Richard recounted with tears in his eyes, “I can’t even remember who was driving the boat or how Roger fell in the water. We were fooling around, driving too fast and doing quick turns.” His body didn’t surface.

Edward Jr., the eldest brother hurried home from college when he got the soul-shaking news. He, along with Richard and their father Edward Sr., dredged the lake for almost the entire next day looking for Roger’s body. Finally they found him. Roger’s lifeless body was discovered with a fatal head injury. That was proof enough that he had most certainly been struck by the boat’s prop right through his fair-haired, handsome head.

All the Blackwood boys were good-looking, but Roger was positively stunning. Tall for his age, lean yet muscular (he was a great athlete), with sandy blonde hair, sharp green eyes, and tan skin. The youngest of four siblings, he had an easy-going quality that made him so enjoyable to be around. “Roger never complained about chores or school or anything”, Edward Jr. said; although Roger was not a topic he could often talk about.

The Blackwood family lived in Riley, Texas on a hog farm. That alone did not provide enough income to support a family of six, so Edward Sr. was also a full-time policeman and worked part-time at an Auto Body Shop. Even so, money was still tight. Marjorie was a good but strict mother, and could often be found in old photographs with a belt on her shoulder. (She grew up in the “spare the rod spoil the child” era.)

Edward Jr. recently said, “I can remember being a very young boy and mother trying to put all us down for a nap. All three of us boys were lying in a double bed, and we weren’t exactly sleepy. Mother came in and told us that if we made one more peep she would whoop us all. As soon as she turned to leave Richard and I in unison chirped “peep, peep, peep”; mother came back in fuming. Roger, being the good son, didn’t complain when all three of us got whooped when he didn’t even do anything.”

“When we lose a child, especially if it is sudden and unexpected, it is as if a part of us dies too … Taking your own child to the grave is the most difficult experience of [any] parent's life,” says Solly Border, author of the article “In the Aftermath of a Tragedy.” This article appears on a grief website that offers advice and support to those who have lost loved ones, especially a child. It advises that you talk about the loss, put no limit on the amount of time you have to mourn, take the good days with the bad, don’t forget your other children, and finally to accept their death and allow yourself to be blameless. They also advise that if none of these steps is helping you cope, you should seek professional counseling.

During the time of Roger’s death, the research and help tools of today (like the Internet) were not available for the grieving couple that would have been advised to “allow time to mourn” and to not “forget your other children”. Opportunities to join a local support group or obtain personal counseling would have been limited in rural East Texas 1967.

“Mom never really looked at us the same after Roger’s death,” the Blackwood’s only daughter, Beverly, said. Already a stern woman, Marjorie made no attempt to let her emotional wounds heal. Most family members agree that she went on with her life as if Roger had never existed. She continued to cook three meals a day, plus do the sewing and washing, and never mentioned her pain. Not having any friends to confide in, she quickly became even more introverted and finally isolated herself from her family.

However, the most shocking twist in the Blackwood's home life came only a few short months after the accident. “Dad got kicked off the force for police brutality. It was an African American criminal and this was during the Civil Rights Movement,” Beverly also recalled. She made it seem like all the pent-up grief finally became too much for her father until he finally just snapped. “He came home and told us he quit his job,” she said. “We all knew he was lying. He loved that job.”

After Roger’s death, Edward Sr. and Marjorie could no longer cope with their differences and split. Marjorie remained in Riley, Texas, while Edward Sr. fled his past and moved to Alaska to work on pipelines and mine for gold. He soon remarried while Marjorie never let herself get close to anyone ever again. Beverly and Edward Jr. were already out of the house by the time their parents decided to part, but Richard was caught in the middle. Eventually, he followed his father to Alaska, but soon changed his mind and returned to Texas to marry his high school sweetheart.

Neither parent made any attempt to keep close family ties over the years. “Our once tight-knit family that lived and laughed together in our small farmhouse no longer existed,” Edward Jr. said. “The last time I sent my mother plane tickets to come to my house in Houston to see me, my wife, and my two little girls, she cashed them in for money. Dad, rest his soul, drove in from Alaska with his new wife Louise only a few times over the course of my girl’s young lives.”

“Some people never recover from such a blow and spend the rest of their life grieving. Counselors speak of the evil trio of parental grieving: denial, guilt, and anger. Denial in itself can be a coping strategy which works for some, while guilt and anger are more difficult to overcome,” The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) of the United Kingdom wrote.

A mother’s guilt for having pushed Richard to take Roger out on the boat combined with a father’s outrage and anger at the loss of his baby boy had seemingly resulted in complete denial for the pair. This mixture of raw emotion and zero communication appeared to destroy any connection they once had as partners.

Edward Jr., Richard, and Beverly are all married and have nine children among themselves (Richard has a daughter Emily and son Zachary. Edward Jr. has two children from his first marriage, Staci and Clint, and two daughters from his current one, Lauren and Katelyn. Beverly has two boys, Spencer and William, and a daughter Callie.) The brothers currently reside in Texas and remain very close to this day. They talk frequently and visit one another’s families twice a month. Their sister Beverly and her family live in Tucson, Arizona. She checks in with her brothers on holidays and special occasions, but keeps a tight schedule with her immediately family’s busy lives. They all have only the fondest memories of Roger, but still find it difficult to talk about that summer and what it did to their family.

As the two men, Richard and Edward Sr., looked through old photos, they came across one of Roger. His hair was a mess, and he was wearing a plain white t-shirt with jeans that were noticeably too short. Even still, he was breathtaking atop his favorite paint horse that the boys cleverly named Paint. For Richard, this picture brought to mind a time when Roger was about seven years old and one of the sows was pregnant. “The hog had gone into labor and was having a lot of difficulty. Roger went into her stall (she was about as big as he was) and he lied down beside her; she immediately calmed down and easily gave birth to six healthy babies.” Richard said, “He could make anyone feel more comfortable. He loved animals, people, and he definitely loved life.”